A note from the nurse (aka "wife")

Similar to last week, Jim was obviously "up" after chemo on Monday. And again it lasted about 24 hours. For the most part the boys and I are happy then; it's much easier to see him that way and can also be somewhat entertaining. On the other hand, when it wears off, the contrast is remarkable and spirits are down. It seems that's where we've been since mid-day Tuesday.

It is obvious that the pain has geared up. Jim has almost completely stopped taking nourishment by mouth due to pain in throat and gums and the possiblity of stomach upset. He has been trying to stay away from the heavier pain killers for similar reasons and because he wanted to be able to work. However he is beginning to withdraw so today I vowed that we are going to start getting serious about managing the pain. (I hope I don't have to live up to what Patrick said to me in anger today, "you are a NASTY woman!" ... LOL)

I’m proud of the boys, for the most part they are doing well with the unknowns, chaos, stress, fear and worries in this household. We’re all emotional and its coming out in different ways. Sean is showing more stress and unhappiness with school than expected. Patrick is his usual self but cranked up a few notches. I have these weird emotional times when a mere kind word or the question "how is he doing?" causes my eyes to well up with tears.

I saw a quote today that gives me a bit of comfort: "Present pains can lead to permanent gains."